Monday, July 14, 2008


I was out in LA a month or so ago. I was with a friend, and she was going to see Dr. Rey. She was going to have a surgery done. So being a good friend, I went with her for support. Plus, I would be in LA, and I had never been to sunny California until then.

He was a world famous doctor, he is on television, and he is very successful. I didn't know what to expect when I met him. It was surgery day, and I see him walking around with his camera very excited. After waiting for some time, the nurse came to get my friend. A very nice lady from Georgia. She commented on my manners, she knew I wasn't from LA. So people on the west coast, um...get some home training. Good manners go a long way.

Back to the story, lol. So we get back to the pre-op area. He goes through the details about what is going to happen and the rules to recovery afterwards. His rules were very strict, but understandable when someone is going into surgery. So I listened attentively. Then he said something that clicked in my brain. At that moment I suddenly felt enlightened.

It was the obvious, but often it goes unsaid. He said nothing is perfect. There are no perfect days, there is no perfect weather, there is no perfect face, there is no perfect relationship, there is no perfect marriage, and so on. Because there is no perfect, you cannot expect perfect, just expect better. If you go into a marriage expecting something you will end up divorced. If you go into a marriage expecting nothing you will do just fine.

I immediately then began to change how I look at my own relationship. When you are with someone for a while you expect certain things, you want your relationship to be perfect. You want your partner to be perfect. When things don't go as expected, you are unhappy, unsatisfied, or angry. That is because you have made the mistake of expecting perfect. Once you finally realize this is not possible, you will reach a certain feeling of emotional control. This will allow you to be more successful in your relationship.

No one is perfect. That is an unescapable fact. People lie and cheat, people do things behind each others backs. Some not as much, and some more than others. These truths are enevitable and can not be avoided. So now I try to hold that attitude. Do not expect anything, do not expect perfect, because you will be dissappointed.

There is no perfect, only better...

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